Every Time a Bell Rings, a Toad Demon Gets Kissed
by C-C-C-Crack Pairings
Summary: There is no love for JaShomaru. This is a story about Sesshomaru and Jaken's love. Mild lemon, lime and citrus. That's right.
1. Chapter 1

A SesshyxJaken pairing... Jashomaru! Teh lurve!

Jaken and Sesshomaru stared into each other's eyes PASSIONATELY. Sesshomaru started to lean closer slowly... "Mi-Mi- lord!" Jaken leaned back. "Shut up Jaken." Sesshomaru leaned closer, picked up Jaken and pulled him into a wet, deeply passionate french kiss. They kissed for about 40 seconds before Sesshomaru suddenly pulled away. Jaken gave a confused look. Rin was standing right behind Jaken and in front of Sesshomaru, with flowers in her hands. She had this 'WTF?' look on her face. Rin abrubtly dropped the flowers she was clutching in her left hand and ran away screaming. Sesshomaru ran after her. "Come, Jaken." Sesshomaru said as he ran after Rin. Jaken was stunned, he had no idea why Sesshomaru french kissed him. Jaken gave one of his toad-like smiles. 'I don't know what just happened, but I liked it.'

Jaken trailed after Sesshomaru, completely content. Fantasies playing in his head, he walked with his eyes closed.

_THIS IS A COMPLETELY SERIOUS PAIRING. No mean reviews, guys. But if you get me to 10 reviews, I will post the next chapter immediately._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello, I shall make you wait no longer, the next chapter!

Sesshomaru and Jaken ran after Rin, who was uncontrollably screaming "YAOI HENTAI YAOI HENTAI YAOI HENTAI!"

Rin did not stop screaming until she bumped into Kagome. Rin wondered what she was doing here, they were at least almost three miles away from the Bone Eater's Well, where Rin usually saw her.

"Rin? What's wrong? What are you doing out in these woods without Jaken or Sesshomaru?" Rin just shook her head while giving Kagome a warning look. It was then that she heard Rin scream and saw Jaken and Sesshomaru walk into the clearing.

"Sesshomaru! Why did you leave Rin alone in these woods? She could've been eaten or KILLED by a youka-"

"Miko, you have no buisness being here, this Sesshomaru will not let you interfere in his buisness."

Sesshomaru charged towards Kagome.

"Aaaahhh...ahhhh...aaah...AaAaAhHh... AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sesshomaru picked Kagome up and thrust her into the air where she flew 3 miles, and landed in the Bone Eater's Well and back into her own time. But Sesshomaru didn't seem to care. At all.

"Rin, what troubles you young one?" Sesshomaru gave Rin a totally false confused look.

"Uh..!" Rin turned and tried to run away, but Sesshomaru caught her arm.

"This Sesshomaru does not appreciate you running from him."

"I-I- I uh- HENTAI!" She screeched at him.

"This Sesshomaru is no pervert." Sesshomaru picked Rin up and sat her down on Ah-Uhn. He then reached for Jaken, who had been completely forgotten, and kissed him with the same heat and passion as before. He then proceeded to smack Jaken's butt.

"Mi-Milord!" He said, blushing heavily. "Rin and Ah-Uhn are present!"

"This Sesshomaru will do what he wants." Sesshomaru picked Jaken up by the waist and put him on Ah-Uhn.

"Y-yes, Milord!" Jaken's blush did not subside.

"Ah-Uhn." Sesshomaru called his own cloud and got on, waiting until Ah-Uhn moved to take off. The giant two-headed beast groaned and took off with Rin and Jaken in tow.

A/N: Thank you everyone for your aawwweeesome reviews! They kept me going! Sorry I didn't post earlier, I had a looooot of Christmas duties I had to attend to. Anyway, I'll post the next chapter immediately if you get me to 15 reviews!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm soooo sorry that I haven't posted, but I was kinda busy... Also, do best to Remember, in this Chapter Sesshy has a castle, because this takes place after they defeat Naraku.

With Jaken and Rin on Ah Uhn, Sesshomaru flew on his youkai cloud. When they landed, Rin jumped off of Ah-Uhn followed by Jaken. She looked confused.

"W-why... are we... at the Bone Eater's W-well?" Rin asked Jaken timidly.

"W-well, I don't know, Rin!" Jaken paused as he saw Sesshomaru come up to Rin and thrust her into the Bone Eater's Well, where a blue light glittered and she disappeared 500 years into the future. He then took Ah-Uhn and threw him down the well, too, but since he was a demon of his type, he could not pass through the well, so he just left Ah-Uhn groaning at the bottom of the well, obviously bruised from being thrown in the well. Sesshomaru then disappeared into the woods for some 3 minutes. Jaken stared into the spot where Sesshomaru disappeared sadly. Sesshomaru then appeared with a large boulder, and placed it over the top of the Bone Eater's Well. It covered all of the Bone Eater's Well's entrance, and then some.

Sesshomaru then walked over to Jaken and gave him a poker face. He then leaned down and whispered in Jaken's ear.

Jaken blushed a deep crimson when he felt Sesshomaru's hot breath on his toad ear.

"Jaken, we're alone now. Ah-Uhn isn't around to disturb us and the miko and Rin can't catch us..."

Jaken blushed a deeper red, if even possible.

Sesshomaru picked Jaken up as he jumped and he gracefully landed on his Youkai Cloud. He spoke no word to Jaken as they took an hour long ride to Sesshomaru's palace. When they landed, Sesshomaru let Jaken off and soon climbed off himself. Sesshomaru then made his way to his chambers in the west wing of his palace, with Jaken trailing after him.

*Warning, slightly, only slightly, lemon*

Sesshomaru threw Jaken on his silky sheets of his bed and then pounced on him. He kissed Jaken on the lips and then lightly licked Jaken's bottomlip, asking for entrance, which Jaken allowed with slight hesitation. He then proceeded to grope Jaken, which Jaken liked exceedingly. Sesshomaru and Jaken continued like this through the night, blissfully.

A/N: So... I'm not going to write a full lemon right now, but I MIGHT later, so keep reviewing. I can't promise when the next chappie will be out, but I promise that it wont be as long a wait as last time.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: And the sexy story continues.

When Jaken awoke in the morning, he did not expect what he saw. He was tangled in silky sheets completely naked, and Sesshomaru was the same laying next to him, and his face looked like O.O

Which Jaken thought was extremely sexual, but he liked it nonetheless. He did not feel like this was bad, it was a good thing. A VERY GOOD THING. He remembered how Sesshomaru touched him. He never thought Sesshomaru would touch him in such ways, but he fascinated a few times as Sesshomaru's foot had smashed his face in the ground so many times. He had to keep his perverted thoughts to himself, but last night he and Sesshomaru were being... Well, you know.

Jaken got out of the bed, Sesshomaru still O.O-ing him. He put on his usual robe and Sesshomaru did the same, taking more time to put on all of his armor and underdressings.

They walked out of the building together, not daring to say a word to each other. But Jaken had guts for a split second.

"Mi-Mi Lord? Do you not believe we should retrieve Rin and Ah-Uhn?" He said, cowering.

"Not if we plan on doing the same thing tonight as we did last night. And I intend to." Sesshomaru said, still keeping his poker face on.

Jaken's eyes grew wide and so many perverted thoughts ran through his head he felt like his head was spinning. There were so many he couldn't focus on one at a time. He kept thinking.

Tonight would be fun.

"Y-Yes! Yes Mi-Lord!" Jaken feared he sounded a bit too eager, but he didn't care. All he could do was stare at Sesshomaru with a lustful expression. They continued walking around the forest. Where? Jaken didn't know. But all he cared about was his oversized lord that he was following after. The pair battled a few tiny demons, Jaken blasting a few with his fire-breathing mask. When the big ones came along, Sesshomaru would battle them without problem-

Tonight would be fun.

They passed the Bone Eater's Well a few times, but neither looked on and thought about Ah-Uhn, Rin, or even the hopeless Miko. Sometimes it seemed like they were going in circles. They battled useless demons, and Jaken had no idea where they were going, but he knew he would follow Sesshomaru anywhere-

Tonight would be fun.

-But now they came to a strange large dog-demon, much like Sesshomaru, but not at all as sexy as Jaken's master.

"Hello, Sesshomaru."

"Hello, Kenjimaru."

"Mi-Mi Lord? Who is this man?" Jaken asked timidly.

"He is my brother."

"O-Oh!" Jaken's eyes widened. He knew Sesshomaru had a brother, Inuyasha, but he didn't know he had a full-demon brother as well.

Kenjimaru and Sesshomaru battled, each of their swords clashing every once in a while. Retorts coming from the angry Kenjimaru and Sesshomaru keeping his calm expression only replying with something much better than Kenjimaru's dumb threats.

But the whole time Jaken wondered if it was wrong for him the whole time to be thinking,

Tonight would be fun.

* * *

A/N: I promise the next chapter will be a full out lemon. You will slap your hands over your mouth and say, "THIS IS HOT!"

I promise you.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Alright. I promised you guys a yaoi lemon for this new crack chapter, but I'm gonna make you wait! *wink***

* * *

Jaken stared wide-eyed at the ongoing battle between Sesshomaru, his Lord, and Kenjimaru, his Lord's brother.

He didn't know where this battle would lead, but obviously he knew that Sesshomaru would win. Their swords clashed, and neither got hurt. Yet.

Sesshomaru's blade went to touch with Kenjimaru's but instead swooped down underneath and cut Kenjimaru deeply in the stomach. He howled in pain, before his form grew into that of a huge white dog with an encircled crescent moon on his forehead.

Tonight would be fun.

Jaken just couldn't get that thought out of his head. He shook his head, as if the thought would just go flying right out of his head. But he just couldn't stop thinking of it. Even just the thought of what they did LAST night made him blush! So right now he couldn't afford to mess around! It was his duty to stay loyal and in the zone at all times, and if he couldn't even do this he didn't deserve yaoi love with his master!

Jaken wondered what surprises would await him tonight.

NO! STOP JAKEN! BAD JAKEN!

He slapped himself several times but the thought wasn't vanquished. Before Jaken knew it Sesshomaru was also in dog form and had defeated his brother. He was still breathing, Jaken knew that Sesshomaru, not even he, could kill his own brother completely.

"Mi- mi lord!" Jaken squeaked.

"Yes, Jaken?" Sesshomaru asked as he morphed from dog to human.

Suddenly, Jaken was at a loss for words. "Wh-why didn't you f-finish him off!" He blurted out, and regreted he asked. Expecting a good foot squashing, he ducked down. When he heard no answer, he looked up. Sesshomaru was a good thirty feet ahead of him.

"MY LORD!" He yelled, and trailed after him.

"If you intend to question my choices I shall just fetch Rin and Ah-Uhn." Sesshomaru stated flatly, in his normal voice.

WHAAA-? SO NOW HE'S THREATENING TO TAKE AWAY THE BANG BANG?

This will not do.

"NO MY LORD I APOLOGIZE DEEPLY FOR MY ACTIONS!"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **I promised, and you received. This is my first lemon, so please don't judge me too harshly.

* * *

Jaken and Sesshomaru made their way to the the bedroom in Sesshomaru's castle, the two shared it.

"This Sesshomaru is pleased with where this is going." Sesshomaru said, frowning down cruelly at his toad demon man-servant.

"A-As am I L-Lord Sesshomaru." Jaken stuttered, stunned by his master's masculinity.

Eventually, they passed a lone torch and Sesshomaru's features were lit up perfectly. Jaken could not contain himself and he jumped onto his Lord's fluff. Climbing up, he felt a bulge in his pants. Soon, he reached Sesshomaru's face and began to lick his lips until it escalated to the point that it looked like they were eating each other.

After a long while, they had rough and disgusting man sex that led to Jaken's body (excluding his head) being jammed into Sesshomaru's ass.


	7. Chapter 7

Jaken felt as if someone was staring deeply at his manhood as he walked with Rin and Sesshomaru into the deep depths of the forest.

Eyes wide, he dared a peek at his lord Sesshomaru and found he was intensely staring him down. He averted his gaze quickly.

He had no idea what to do at that moment. All he knew was that he was going to be deeply molested whenever he and Sesshomaru got the chance to be alone.

But he didn't care. In fact, he wanted it as bad as Sesshomaru did, dare he say. Although Sesshomaru _is _a mighty dog demon and he does have needs that have to be satisfied and- Woah, Jaken.

Jaken felt his face grow hot and he felt as if he could just die right there, had his Master's aroused eyes not been burning holes into his side.

He concluded that he would please his master tonight more than any wench ever could!


	8. Chapter 8

"O-oh! My-my lord! Oh my God Lord Sesshomaru!" Pure pleasure coursed through Jaken. He never thought anything would feel this good in his whole life until - Oh. He was wrong.

"YES, OH MY GOD YES MY LORD!" Jaken screamed to the top of his tiny toad demon lungs when his Lord Sesshomaru chopped off the head of the demon he was battling.

"Jaken. You must calm yourself." Sesshomaru said, sliding his sword back into it's scabbard and Jaken thinks it looks strangely a lot like when the two are alone and Sesshomaru is -

Jaken slams a tiny, green fist into his head, effectively drawing tears to his eyes. But he doesn't care, these perverted thoughts swimming around carelessly in his brain are really starting to affect his respect for himself.

He should be ashamed.

But he isn't.

Jaken is in the middle of mentally scolding himself when Sesshomaru walks past him, giving him a suggestive smirk. Jaken approves.


	9. Chapter 9

"Move it, woman!" Jaken said, following behind Rin. Honestly, he couldn't help it! Humans are all so slow!

Rin looked genuinely fearful, probably still scarred from walking in on Sesshomaru and Jaken's latest... encounter, Jaken assumed. "Y-yes Master Jaken."

Hmph. Suits the girl right, Jaken thought. Snooping in on his and his Lord's private affairs! The wench is lucky she wasn't executed then and there!

"Jaken. Do not frighten Rin." Sesshomaru's nostrils flared with intensity and Jaken cowered with fear at his 'I am holier than thou' expression.

"Y-yes, My Lord." Jaken responding, wondering if it was wrong that Sesshomaru's anger only made him want his Lord even more.

/

-Later that Night-

Sesshomaru loomed over a sleeping Jaken's figure. He suddenly used the end of his foot to poke him in the face.

"AH! UWAH! L-Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken struggled to sit up and dared to look into his Lord's eyes.

Sesshomaru grabbed Jaken by his shirt and lifted him so their cheeks were touching. He stared off into the distance. Jaken did the same, not seeing at all what his great, mightly Lord was staring at.

Then, Jaken was dropped to the floor and Sesshomaru left and rested against the same tree he had before.

Jaken can't sleep for the rest of the night.


	10. Chapter 10

Jaken grasped his own rather small demon penis and squeezed with a vengeance. This was his punishment for defiling Lord Sesshomaru's beautiful body.

"JAKEN, YOU WILL," the toad huffed, "SUUUUBMIIIIIT!"

Eventually, this became very, very hot and he accidentally came all over the bed sheets.

Jaken stood and saw Lord Sesshomaru standing near him, eyes ablaze.

"L-Lord Sesshomaru, I d-didn't mean to!" Jaken cowered in fear at his newer, improved "I am holier than thou" face.

"No one but me will make the mysterious substance come from your appendage," Sesshomaru zoomed over to Jaken and once more pressed his cheek up against Jaken's and stared off into space, repeating the same phrase over and over. "Only this Sesshomaru will. Only this Sesshomaru will. Only this Sesshomaru will. Only this Sesshomaru will."


	11. Chapter 11

His lord did have a very, very juicy booty.

Jaken assessed his Lord's backside while smiling his toad-like smile. Nothing in the world pleased him more than to see his great Lord's butt slowly swaying back and forth whilst walking in front of him.

His hands tightened into fists as he could no longer take the punishment his Lord gave to him by making him suffer at the sight of his buttocks.

"LORD SESSHOMARU, I WANT YOU." Jaken slapped a hand over his mouth, immediately feeling regret for his outburst.

Rin and Ah-Uhn looked back toward him, but he gave them so fierce a look that the three looked away.

His feared one, Sesshomaru the great dog demon, turned around to face him with cold eyes. "Again, Jaken?"


	12. Chapter 12

"Y-yes my Lord, I'm terribly sorry..." Jaken stuttered under his gorgeous Lord's gaze. "I just sometimes... I want to screw you..."

Lord Sesshomaru sighed. "Ah-Uhn, you know what to do."

Ah-Uhn nodded and picked up Rin on its back, floating into the sky with him. Lord Sesshomaru began untying his pants. He stopped as they were just about to slide down his legs. "Well, Jaken?" He said coldly.

Jaken scurried over to his master and helped him take off his layers of pants. Sesshomaru seemed oddly frustrated with the fact that he had to 'have fun' with Jaken, in the forest nonetheless.

Sesshomaru only took his outer clothing off, leaving still a layer of clothing over his buttocks and front. Jaken ran his hands along his Lord's knee - as that was the only place he could reach. Lord Sesshomaru layed flat down on the ground and allowed the frog demon to defile his body once more.

He pinched Lord Sesshomaru's toes, knowing his Lord enjoyed it. Sesshomaru howled like the dog demon he was, and Jaken wished that he could demand that his Lord beg for mercy without being reprimanded like he was so many times before-

Jaken snapped back to reality, hearing his Lord growling and pinching the bridge of his nose, and they were all still walking. Jaken slapped a green hand against his wrinkly forehead and sighed. Thank goodness he hadn't actually screamed out loud that he wanted his Lord! Jaken smirked at his self control, knowing that his Lord was not as good about it as he was.


	13. Chapter 13

"I KISSED A TOAD AND I LIKED IT~!" Sesshomaru was obviously extremely drunk because he was singing trashy future music. He was also spanking his scrumptious ass with a Japanese fan.

Jaken thought of only one thing._Lube me up ass master._

This, of course was silly and could never happen. Unless...

Jaken jumped and bit Sesshomaru's gluts, both of them. At the same time.

"Ohohoho!" Sesshomaru lit up a fiery red and shook.

"Oh sh-" Jaken was whipped back and forth as his lord trembled in drunkenness.

"I whip my ass back and forth, I whip my ass back and forth!" Sesshomaru fell, leaving Jaken in between his ass cheeks. There they slept all through the night.


	14. Chapter 14

Jaken awoke the next morning, sleeping on a feathery bed of fine silk and down pillows. Lord Sesshomaru was away, presumably gathering food for the girl child.

The brick walls of the castle around him seemed to sweat with memories of past love making. The moans almost seemed to permeate into his mind and make him relive the sweet, sweet experiences. It seemed that these times were centered around Jaken.

Alas, Jaken felt guilt at this. He was supposed to be serving Lord Sesshomaru, not the other way around.

Jaken deemed this time the best to snoop around his lord's bedroom. He hopped from the bed and dressed himself. The room around him was a luxurious thirty by thirty chamber, a nice bed centered on the eastern wall. Around the room, there were torches on the walls along with a rather flattering picture of Rin surrounded by roses. He laughed. He was in Lord Sesshomaru's bed. Not her.

He pushed the envious thoughts out of his head and returned to the task at hand. All around him there were dressers and wardrobes just waiting for curious toad demons to stick their hands in.

The first drawer he searched provided nothing much but the norm. His lord's garments were assorted within.

The next followed suit.

The third, however, gave Jaken a complete and utter shock. The drawer he was met with contain nothing more but an estimate thirty red, glittering pairs of thongs.


	15. Chapter 15

Jaken walked with Rin in the forest while Sesshomaru was hunting for food for them. The pair were involved in much-needed heart to heart conversation about both of their love lives.

A much older Rin placed a hand to her cheek, attempting to answer the question. "Well, I am old enough to marry Ah-Uhn now, being 16, so I suppose our wedding will be just around the corner!" The tall girl said excitedly, her cheeks tinted a light pink.

Attempting to allure the conversation away from herself, Rin looked over to Jaken. "What about you and Lord Sesshomaru?"

Jaken blushed a deep shade of crimson, looking away from Rin. The red was quite the contrast against his toad-like green skin. "W-Well, I don't know what to think of him most of the time. When we're alone - " Jaken coughs. "He's someone completely different. But when we're around other people, such as you, girl, he is cold as an ice cube."

Sesshomaru crept behind the demon and the human, listening to their conversation. Listening to Jaken talk about him made him infuriated, however, so he cut in. "Please, enlighten us on your beliefs of this Sesshomaru."

Jaken nearly fell backwards, and turned to face his Lord's holier-than-thou face. "My- My Lord!"

Sesshomaru simply turned back around from Rin's stunned face and Jaken's terrified version, walking away calmly. "No matter. You will be punished."

Jaken was enticed.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: This is the finale. Prepare yourselves for a huge ass lemon.

* * *

Jaken was a whore. He loved anything phallic shaped, and he looked for them anywhere he went. Big, little, average. It didn't matter to him. If it fit, it was going in.

But this was too big.

Sesshomaru thrust into him so many times, he'd never taken before, he'd always been on top.

The thrusts were short and deep, but full of passion.

"M-MI LORD," Jaken was unable to understand how it was possible for such pleasure to course through him. "YOUR DICK IS MUCH TOO LARGE. I CANNOT HANDLE IT, EVEN IF I AM A WHORE."

But Sesshomaru could not help it. He was morphing, and he didn't know why.

The large member inside of Jaken was _growing_.

"AUGH!" Jaken screamed. His Lord was ripping him.

Suddenly, Sesshomaru was fully morphed and Jaken was no more. Sesshomaru's pure penile fortitude had destroyed him, leaving nothing more than a stretched, ripped masturbation cloth.

Sesshomaru was distraught.

He morphed back into his human form. "Girl child, you may come back now."

"I am in love with Ah-Uhn, I can love you no longer." Rin cried.

Sesshomaru was unaffected by her desire to not make sweet, sweet love with him. But he was disturbed at fact that she had grown so - and that she was naked, Ah-Uhn mounting her.

"NEEEEIIIIGH."


End file.
